new year's eve sandwich.

what were you doing New Year’s Eve? were you hosting a party alone because your husband got called in to work? were you guzzling champagne, nursing a stomachache brought on by a gargantuan sandwich the size of the Rocky Mountain range filled with everything that people with high cholesterol should never eat?

well,

just in case you want to make one yourself, here’s how we built ours, from the ground up.

• most of a loaf of italian bread with most of the insides removed
• mayonnaise, followed by ranch dressing
• roast turkey
• pepperoni slices
• bacon
• pork and beef meatballs bathed in Frank’s buffalo sauce
• jalapeno poppers
• onion rings
• lettuce
• my famous homemade macaroni and cheese

this was inspired by the good old days when my husband and i had television. (we have a tv currently… it just doesn’t get any channels.) saturday mornings would often find us watching Man Vs Food reruns on the Travel Channel, and before we knew it we were craving insane food (10-foot pizzas, six-pound omlettes) at 7 in the morning. one of the episodes that struck me most was a visit to Ike’s Place in San Francisco. watching them make a sandwich with macaroni and cheese and onion rings on top of heaps and heaps of pastrami was nearly enough to get me on a plane in my sweat pants that very morning. i’ve been dreaming of it ever since.

the general verdict on (my version of) this sandwich is that this is impossible to eat. not only in volume, but it’s sheer height is tough to get one’s mouth around. it was a little dry as well. i would definitely leave out the jalapeno poppers, just because they didn’t add much, and are thick and tend to slide out of the sandwich and slap your chin with hot cream cheese filling if you bite into the middle of them (not easy to bite through).

i’m not sure we would do it again, but for one night, we truly lived.

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